Last week I did it again. I got lost on my way from work. The commute is only ten minutes when there’s no traffic. But that night, it was horrible. Cars slowed down in front of me, then came to a stop. And stayed put entirely. I only had a couple of seconds before I would be cornered -the lane was already flooding with other drivers who tried to find a way out- and forced onto the highway, so I decided to turn to the right. The car jumped into gear and took me into the shortcut.
Through that manoeuvre I found myself in a road I didn’t expect to find myself in. But hey, navigating is easy, right? I approximately knew the direction I had to take. Heading towards a roundabout, I decided to continue my straight course. At the next turn I took a left. My eyes were roaming the streets for landmarks so I could orientate myself, but to no avail. Right again, then left. It took me deeper and deeper into the residential area. Narrow streets, one-way streets. Little children on little bikes, swarming the sidewalks and road. Parents parking their cars and blocking my way. After ten minutes of following my built-in radar and getting nowhere, I surrendered and activated my TomTom.
While I waited for the satellites to connect with my little electronic guide, my thoughts returned to last week. Getting lost in the streets of a town is nothing. Getting lost in an English pub, now that is a new accomplishment of my nonexistent sense of direction. My V-man and I were having a very nice lunch. And, being in the United Kingdom, we simply had to have a very nice cuppa or two. Before resuming our trip, I decided to get rid of superfluous tea and visit the restroom. I had no trouble whatsoever finding it. To find my way back was the real challenge. When I came out, the place suddenly looked unfamiliar. Where was the lunchroom? Where was the entrance? Bewildered I stopped and stared, shaking my head in utter amazement. And resignation. A kind old gentleman asked “What’s the matter, love?” and I simply said “I’m lost. In a pub. Can you believe it?” For I could not.
In my defense though (the only defense I can artfully think of): the things one sees on the way in are not the same things one sees on the way back. I kid you not! But I rest this lost case. I’m missing some strange and mysterious ability and I will never get it. Lost. In a pub. I have hit rock bottom.
PS. I managed to find V-man that afternoon, and arrived at home safely. 😉