The unexpected white on black stopped him in his tracks. Hands on knees, he tried to catch his breath, while sweat dripped down his face. It was a fresh piece of paper, caught in the thistle thorns that grew near the running trail. Curious, he picked up the letter and unfolded it. All of a sudden the words danced before his eyes and he jerked upright. In the distance, near the edge, he could see the flashing lights of a police car. His gaze swept over the words again and slowly he turned the letter around. ‘To Carmen’, it said.
A variation:
A soft click
the door closed
On the table a letter
‘BRB’
She waited for years
in vain
I wrote this for Writing 101: Be Brief: “You stumble upon a random letter on the path. You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter. Today’s twist: Approach this post in as few words as possible.”
I’d love to get feedback!
Unable to find the like button so preferring to comment as I can’t surpass it:
This was THE best brief to the story, I came across in long time ❤ specially with the 6lines 😀
Good job 🙂
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Aw Poodle, that is a marvelous compliment. Thank you!! 🙂
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I love the six word stories at the end. So very powerful.
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Gil, that last sentence of the variation is indeed a six word story; I hadn’t even realized that. I’m glad you like it!
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I liked it, it kept my interest and had good imagry
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I always wonder if my readers receive the same message I’m sending, and it seems this one did.
Thank you very much for taking the time to comment!
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Beautiful
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Really appreciate that, David!
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Interesting exercise. Hugs, Barbara
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Thanks so much, Barbara, and have a great weekend.
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You too. Drink up sunshine and be sure to laugh. Hugs, Barbara
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Your comment already did that. 🙂 Warmest hugs back to you.
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Like this! I was hooked and kept reading. Good for you.
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I’m glad about that, Rusha, thank you!
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