March 7th, 2013
On this late-winter evening, a light rain is gently wiping the dust from my window. You are both safe and close, gaming in your rooms, and throwing an occasional remark up and down the stairs, with me in the middle. I am sitting here, silent, contemplating our lives together.
Twenty-one years ago you came into my life, Nick. Small and red, screaming your lungs out. So very different from today, when you are very composed – much more than I am. Sometimes I wonder who the adult is when we have an argument. The passionate emotional mother and her son, who puts all back in perspective. You have grown into a fine young man, and find your way in life with determination and calmness.
Then three years later you arrived, Sean, son number two. So alike, yet so very different. Calm on the outside but much more turbulent on the inside. The silent type you are, my ‘little’ one. Once you looked up at me, but now you have to bend over to come close. Not too close of course, that’s ‘not done’ at your age. My quiet dreamer with delicate humor, who still needs to explore his future.
I treasure you both. Your hugs – though I first have to catch you, Sean, to steal one. I treasure your funny comments and smiles – sometimes at my expense, but that’s quite OK. One day I will get back at the two of you! I love your integrity and steadfastness. At times you both are pigheaded and perk, at other times sweet and surprising. And though we do not always agree, we try to work it out and find better ways. Know that I will be here for you whenever you need me. For a talk, a hug or food. Because you are always in for a snack and cookies. In that way, you are very alike, pair of locusts!
I am proud of you both, no matter what. I am thinking of you both each day, no matter what. And I love you both dearly, forever and always, unconditionally. No matter what…