Posted in Personal

How To De-Crease In Five Easy Steps

It is early morning and a merry tune drags me away from my dreams. Dreams about whales! Cruel alarm dressed in a tune. The whales’ song was much kinder.

As I release myself of old tea, my mirror image stares back at me, looking as tired as I feel. How does she know? Hair is screwed up, eyes are visible through slits, bags under the eyes and an interesting pattern of wrinkles on my cheek. Dear pillow, please refrain yourself from these artistic actions, you are only meant to cradle my head at night!

What to do, what to DO?

First I am going to attack my internal wrinkles. Do not worry, I will not deepen this investigation. It suffices to say I start with a big glass of orange juice to set all invisible organs in motion. Water is also great. Do NOT forget your inner woman, she is very important! De-Crease action number one.

After that I step into my bath-shower and pull at the lever to start an enormous flood of hot water pouring down on my upturned face. Pay attention, this is the most important part of our strategy to De-Crease! While you are doing this, let your thoughts roam in any direction they want to. I meet my muse in my daily morning shower and we have lots of interesting but silent conversations.

As I climb out again, looking at the world with new and fully opened eyes, my mirror image comes into view again. Ah, she looks kind of refreshed, especially when I put in my contacts.

Now De-Crease action number three comes into the scene: Clinique ‘all about eyes serum’. And as much as I already loved this brand before – it is the only brand I can use because of my skin allergies – this product is the best of all. It promises to be a ‘de-puffing eye massage’. But listen: do NOT massage your eyeballs with it! That is a misleading text *grins*. No, just gently roll the metal ball over the bags under your eyes. It is cold, it is fresh, it is heaven. Like a smooth ice cube.

Mirror image looks at me and nods. Things are looking up. My eyes are content, but the rest of my face is yelling to hurry up, it is drying out. Next action to De-Crease is another product to nurture the skin: ‘Superdefence SPF25’. Hey, does that sound promising or what? Apparently this cream will protect your face from all attacks of the outer world! LOL who makes up all these ad slogans? After all it is facial cream. And what does SPF25 mean? As if we care, most important is that we have a bit of luxury in our lives this early.

So until now we have orange juice, shower, eyes and face. The rest of our body also needs a bit of attention, to prevent future creases. For that I use a bird. Yes a bird! She is very gentle and subtle and applies a feathery touch to my skin.

Perhaps you are thinking it is a peculiar Dutch custom? I’m sorry to disappoint you, this is my little birdie:

And there we are: five easy steps to De-Crease:

  1. orange juice or water
  2. fresh shower
  3. eye serum
  4. super defense cream
  5. body lotion

I don’t know if these five rules really decrease creases – hehehe funny language – but it does feel good to take care of yourself. To thank your body, your skin for protecting you daily.

And the tiny wrinkles that are engraved permanently in my skin? Leave them be. I have earned each and everyone of them!

How do you De-Crease in the morning?