Posted in Personal

They Will Become A Memory In The Future

Dear Mar,

Don’t be alarmed. You’re not going mad. And I’m not mad either. No, it isn’t a cruel joke or a prank of your friends. Please bear with me and hear me out. It will help you through the rough times you’re going through right now.

What do I know about your rough times? Well love, everything, simply everything. You see, I AM you, sending you this message from a future, ten years from now. Save this letter for the evenings when pain and loneliness threaten to overwhelm you. When despair and doubt strike hard. When your heart is about to break from crying throughout the night. Then read this and let it sooth you. Because there IS life after a divorce.

I know you worry so much about your children. How will they cope with the separation, will it affect their future and trust in life? Be at ease, in ten years they have grown into tall young men who love life. Men who have self confidence and a good sense of justice. They won’t be party animals, but they do have faith in themselves and have fun. Your sons will find their own way in life and you will guide them. And love them more and more each day. Like I do.

You doubt your ability to stand on your own, but this is unnecessary my dear. Your family and friends will help you whenever you need advice. They will come over when something is amiss. One of them will even bring you forty beautiful roses on your fortieth birthday, because he wants you to smile. And you will learn about taxes, mortgages and house maintenance. You won’t like it but you will learn.

Which leads me to the financial part. This has been keeping you awake at night. Have trust in your employer, for he will give you the chance to work longer. Your salary, complemented with your alimony, will enable you and your kids to stay in the house they grew up in.

But the most important thing you need to know right now is that your intuition is right. Your intuition that has been screaming for years is right. Do not doubt your decision to end this marriage. You have fought long enough, hard enough. It just wasn’t meant to be. Your unhappiness will only deepen if you go on and I don’t want that to happen to you. Better to be alone on your own, than to be lonely in company. This is what your heart is telling you right now, so listen to it!

You will go through bad and even worse times, through unpleasant and hurtful events. But you will get out of this much stronger. The sparkle will come back to your eyes, you will be your merry old enthusiastic self again. You will explore new areas and do new and exciting things. And you will find love again. But that is something for a distant future.

For now, be strong and have faith dearest Mar. You will make it through these difficult times, together with your sons, your family and your friends. So embrace and accept the loneliness and pain in the certainty that they will ease. They will become a memory in the future.

Yours, with love,


Caretaker of lads and cats. No lady, but all woman. RPGamer. Avid reader. Writing my first book, squeezing in time during busy days. And nights if needed. Because I'd love to introduce you to the wonderful people who are living in my mind.

9 thoughts on “They Will Become A Memory In The Future

  1. It’s amazing what we can go through that we never thought we could. I survived a divorce after 34 years of marriage…I wasn’t even awarded alimony. That was nine years ago and I can honestly say that I thank my ex for divorcing me. We are both happier and are better friends than we were spouses. And they call us the weaker sex….NOT! 🙂 Happy Valentine’s Day!:)


    1. There are wells of strength hidden inside all of us and through that strength we can rise above ourselves if needed. It is good to see that both of you are happier than before J. *hugs*
      Happy Valentine’s Day! 😀


  2. What a beautiful letter Marion. And all so true. Time is a great healer and things always work out much better than they appear at the time. This is one to save and keep for any friends going through the same thing. Bless you. Juls 🙂


    1. Thanks Juls! 🙂
      Already my own ‘little’ sister recognized the feelings and uncertainties I was pouring into this post, since she’s in a similar situation I was in ten years ago. We just got off the phone.


    1. O my sweet sister, hold faith, things WILL get better! I hope you can find some solace in my words. We both are of the Driessen family and we stick together through thick and thin.
      Love you too!


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